Ready. Set. Receive!
Mum looked at me, bags under my eyes, tears straining at my eyelids and she told me to go upstairs and have a nap while she looked after her grandchild. I dutifully took myself upstairs and got into bed, but I couldn’t nap. I lay in bed riddled with guilt and anxiety. I felt lazy and useless. I tied to meditate, to listen to music, but I was so far down the spiral of self-sabotage that I couldn’t recover. I tossed and turned and eventually got up and plodded downstairs. I was now even more irritable, more tired and had even less to give than before. My vibe was shit and the family was feeling it.
Two weeks into my mum’s visit I was exhausted. I was emotional and drained, and I was confused. Mum had been wonderful – doing so much for me. Why was I so burned out?
This was the final shopping bag on the overloaded-buggy of my mind and it finally collapsed under the pressure, bringing with it the realisation I so desperately needed. I was incapable of RECEIVING. My mum was doing so much for me but I wasn’t able to receive her gifts. I blocked her love and nurturing because I felt guilty, like I didn’t deserve it, like I should be able to do it all on my own. Because I couldn’t accept the help from my mum, I wasn’t able to give myself the care that I so desperately needed. I was messing with the divine balance of giving and receiving and I was feeling the repercussions. Giving and receiving is like night and day, up and down, forwards and backwards – both are required in order for balance and harmony to exist.
It is not a new phenomenon that women find it difficult to receive. There are ages and centuries of conditioning to sift through on that one. In essence, we’re taught to give, to put others first and when we don’t, we’re judged, sometimes by others, but most importantly by ourselves and that’s the hardest judgement to cope with.
Once I realised that I was getting in the way of my own inner peace and interfering with a universal law as fundamental as gravity, I stepped back and made a decision to start receiving. I decided to create a Receiving Practice and once I committed to it, I noticed wonderful shifts taking place in my heart. This simple act of consciously deciding to receive was making a huge difference to my resilience, my happiness and my energy levels. Receiving these gifts was feeding my soul and building me up.
These 3 simple acts are at the heart of my Receiving Practice:
1. To graciously accept offers of support and help.
When my mum offered to take ‘squidge’ (my little one) at 6am so I could have a sleep-in I graciously accepted. I lay in bed wrapped up in my duvet and the fuzzy glow of my mum’s love. I fell into a luscious sleep for two beautiful hours and when I rose I was excited to play with squidge and inspired to tidy up the kitchen – it really wasn’t a hassle, I had energy, love and inspiration.
2. To graciously accept compliments and expressions of gratitude
When my husband described me as a ‘hero’ for the hard work I put in as a mother, I didn’t brush it off, I said ‘Thank You’ and I accepted the expression of gratitude. I embraced the sentiment and let it sink into my heart. When he took my foot one evening and gave it a massage, I didn’t pull away because I was too tired to return the favour, I let him give me a foot massage and I loved every minute of it. Receiving this precious expression of kindness made me feel happy and loved and a few days later I returned the favour, not out of obligation, but because I wanted to and it felt great.
3. To receive love from myself
I spend time honouring myself. I play Snatam Kaur’s ‘Long Time Sun’ and sing it at the top of my voice, dedicating it to myself. I sit in silence and list all of the ways that I am a wonderful person – all of the ways that I have shown love to others. I listen to Rebecca Campbell’s Light Sourcing Meditation – you do need to provide your email address to access it but Rebecca is so awesome and the few emails I do receive from her are great! This meditation is really powerful because its 7 minutes of pure receiving. If you don’t want to do this, you can do your own Receiving Meditation as I’ve outlined below.
I know I’ve made this sound easy, and trust me, I know it’s difficult to push past all the bullshit conditioning and allow ourselves to receive, especially when we’ve been taught to play small, to shrug off compliments, to give to excess, and to deny our needs. But this is a myth, a social construct that actually holds us back and has lead to a population of tired, depleted women. Do yourself a favour – commit to filling up your cup, to accepting the beauty that is offered to you and consciously create a receiving practice – even if it’s a few minutes a week, commit to allowing the energy of giving and receiving to flow in your life.
- Get settled on the floor, bed or wherever is comfy for you
- Take three breaths to centre yourself and connect to your heart
- Breathe in and imagine white light pouring down onto you, a waterfall of beautiful light
- As you breathe out, say to yourself ‘Receive’ and allow yourself to lap up and bask in the white light being sent to you by the universe
- Keep feeling this white light and repeating the word ‘Receive’ as you breathe
- Do this for as long as it takes for you to feel calmer, happier and ‘filled up’
After I have spent a few minutes doing any one of the above, I feel strong, capable and overflowing with love to give to my family, my friends and the world.
About the Author
Holly St Clair Moor is a coach and spiritual cheerleader helping individuals to find their glow and step into their power. She recently set up her own business ‘Just Say Glow’ and when she’s not working or walking, she’ll be hanging out with her husband, Labrador and baby boy - Most probably eating.
- What’s your astro sign?: Scorpio
- What’s your favourite wellness practice in 3 words or less?: ;-) Epson salt baths
- What inspires you right now?: The power and beauty of women
- What tarot card, crystal, song or animal speaks to you right now: I’m loving carnelian - a red/orange crystal that stimulates creativity and courage, promotes positive life choices and motivates for success - BOOM!